She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
