apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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