i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
