i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
