please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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