Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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