garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
