eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
