Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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