I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
