I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
