I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
