ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
please don't ironically join a cult
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