i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
