You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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