Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
