Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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