He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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