My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
