We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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