Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize