We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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