bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
