I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
