I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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