If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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