p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
