and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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