Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
