The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
