so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize