You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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