we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
