I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
