i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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