1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
