so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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