Where did you get a picture of my penis
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
