But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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