glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
