I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
