you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize