thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
