Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
