handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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