Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
