I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize