After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
