What did we do last night that was yellow?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
