I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
