I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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