and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Come on in and take your pants off
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