i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
