just come out here and I will go home with you...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
