end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
