my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
