the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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