i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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