tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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