We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
