my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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