I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
