all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
