So drunk, too bad you don't want this
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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